Jodie Foster

This past weekend I was reminded of how much I have always admired Jodie Foster. It's not like I forgot about her or anything it's just that she's not in too much these days. I re-watched The Silence of the Lambs on the weekend as I do about once every year and let me tell you, it gets better every time, if that's even possible. As a young girl I wanted to be Clarice Starling. Fuck, I still do! Many years ago I even took criminology/psychology in college hoping to head in the right direction.

My love for Jodie Foster bloomed when I was quite small. You see, I've always loved movies and when I was young and delusional I had grand fantasies that one day I might just be an actress in the movies myself. Although I was too young to be completely insecure, I became aware that I didn't necessarily look like all the other kids in movies and as I got older I realized that I didn't necessarily look like all the teenagers in movies either. It felt like a lose/lose situation.

Nope, there I was in elementary school, gangly and awkward. My ears stuck out and I had crooked teeth. My face was covered in freckles. I was weird and shy. And then I saw Freaky Friday. Lo and behold there was a girl who was kind of funny looking too or maybe she was just tom-boyish and she talked kinda strange. I wished I had a best friend like that, someone that could understand how I felt, and even better, I thought that if she was in the movies then maybe one day I could be too!



Of course, when I saw Freaky Friday and Jodie Foster for the first time, I was a bit behind. She was quite a bit more grown up at that point, but what did I know?



Let's jump ahead a few years to the 1992 Academy Awards. Yes, even back then I simply had to watch the Oscars every year. I remember it vividly. I recall Billy Crystal being wheeled out with the Hannibal Lector mask on but most of all I remember how happy I was to see Jodie Foster in her white suit, giving her acceptance speech for Best Actress. It was a moment I will always remember. I thought she was so pretty and if she turned out pretty maybe there was hope for me. Even though I thought she was pretty I still noticed that she didn't look like all the other pretty ladies there. But again I thought, if she was up there maybe one day I could be too!



Well scratch that. I was always too shy to try and act even though in my heart I felt like it was something I could excel at. In high school when there would be auditions for various plays (my high school was kind of known for theatre) I would always work up the nerve to go into the auditorium and sign up to audition. Then I'd sit there waiting my turn but inevitably I'd always get too nervous and sneak out the back doors. It was quite devastating to me really. I just couldn't bring myself to go up there in front of all those people. Come Grade 12 I wouldn't even walk across the stage due to my overwhelming stage fright.

This never stopped me from playing around by myself in my room though. Then as in now, I can often be found alone in my room doing monologues in the mirror, prancing about while reciting lines in different accents. Pretending I'm people I'm not. That small, awkward girl with a face of freckles and crooked teeth just grew into a bigger version of the same.

Maybe my dreams didn't come true but I still love the movies and I still love Jodie Foster and every time I see her in something I feel that spark of inspiration and I feel good.




Ok, so why did I think she was kind of funny and plain looking? She's is a total babe!

-Amanda